MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I justdid not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Michuzi Blog

Tanzanian blog operating since 2005, covering International news and Local News, including Politics, Fashion, Social Scenes, Interviews, Movies, Events, personalities and anything positive happening worldwide. Written in Swahili and English targeting both Swahili and English readers.

Toa Maoni Yako:

Kuna Maoni 23 mpaka sasa

  1. maskini you have killed an innocent loving lady hivihivi yani!! amekufa kwa presha dada wa watu!! maskini ameuliwa na mapenzi yake kwako!! mh wanaume nyie!!!
    lakini hata sisi kina dada saa nyingine tuna matatizo tunakuwa so cheap mtu unajua kabisa una mme au una mchumba mnaetaka kufunga nae ndo halafu bado unavua chupi pembeni manake yake nini??

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  2. Wise way to rescue a marriage but What a sad ending!!

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  3. felt so emotional cant help stopping my tears.

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  4. thanx michuzi.i love it

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  5. very interesting and touching. I certainly I learned something about marriage and will put it to practice!!

    Mdau M2

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  6. You can't see a woman worth until she is out of your life.
    This is a sad story, and a lesson to learn.We have hundred thousand of man who would rather end their marriages other then fixing their problems." Nyumba ndogo"...mmh! if a woman can stay with you for more then 5years she truly value and cherish you.

    Mamamia.

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  7. I am not married but I sure did learn something...God Bless YOU!

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  8. This is almost like what happend to me, am glad and thank God am still alive though without my spouse.

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  9. amazing story but too bad that the lady has gone but i believe this will change people attitude towards marriage. Casto Mwinuka. (castomwinuka@yahoo.com) 0717473679

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  10. Dah! too emotional. but i have got something from inside of it, thanks

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  11. shenzi! ..natumaini wanaume wa kimatumbi watajifunza kitu hapa.... muwe na mapenzi na wake zenu na kuoa tena sio suluhisho, bali kuyajaza maisha yako kwa mapenzi kila siku...nyoo!

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  12. mama shughuliAugust 03, 2009

    hii stori inasikitisha sana, lakini ina mafunzo mengi pia. Akina baba jihadharini na hao warembo humo maofisini, wataua wake zenu kwa mapresha. Na akina mama msikubali kulala bila chakula cha usiku, hata kama wakijidai wamechoka, hiyo chakula ndo stress releasing!!! Akibisha sana basi kuna sketi inakusaidia kula mzigo! Matokeo yake intimacy inapungua......presha...kifo!

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  13. Did she kill herself? Death on the 30th day sounds suspicious.

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  14. Du !!!Mke wangu wa miaka 34 simwachi ng'oo. Nikifikiria vitimbi ambavyo nimekuwa namafanyia. Hii story imenigusa kweli. Hata chozi limenitoka. Nikitoka tu kwenye laptop hii naenda mbusu mke wangu jamani.

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  15. Damn..My boyfriend is going to leave his wife for me. I have just sent him this. Sio siri, Nimeumia sana tena sana. Thanks kwa aliyetuma hii, it has changed something very important in me. Thanks once again

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  16. We MEN MYSELF INCLUSIVE are just like animals..DOGS OR LIONS, WE ARE HEARTLESS. We are never sensitive to the pain we cause to our dear wives by betraying them because of only one reason..EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS. I know some times women themselves are to blame because single women purposefully tempt married men because they say it pays to have an affair with a married man more than with a single guy. I BELIEVE THE STRONGEST MAN IS HE WHO CAN BE FAITHFUL TO HIS ONLY ONE WIFE/PARTNER. Dont hurt that woman, you dont know how special she is. Dont leave it until it gets to such a sad ending. IT IS A CURSE to cause such pain to your spouse and you will know no peace until you sort out things with her. LONG LIVE HAPPY MARRIAGES TILL DEATH DO US PART.

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  17. mimikuna demu nilimpenda kinoma hadi nikamalizia upendo wangu wote kwake lakini akanifanyia visa ambavyo vimenifanya sitaki kuoa kabisa. maana senta yangu ya upendo imekufa kabisa haipo tena moyoni, nikona demu ananisogelea nahisi ananitonesha kidonda.
    wabarikiwe waliooa na kuziheshimu ndoa zao.

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  18. Hii hadithi ilivyojazwa miimoshen ni wazi kwamba imeandikwa na demu.

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  19. I ddnt expect to shed a tear today. But I actually did. Lots of them. hope every man who will read this will understand how it exactly feels to be neglected :(

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  20. mama wa watu hakutaka makuu alitaka tu abebwee kiishe ile trick ilkuwa nzuri manake jamaa alirudisha love sasa bidada akajimaliza inauma sana kanikumbusha ule wimbo ... ukiona mtu mzima analia ujue kuna jamboo...!
    mdaus CANADA

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  21. i also cry, jamani imenigusa sana. pia na mimi ni mwanamke nipo kwenye shida kama hiyo wanaume anitaki najaribu kumbembeleza hataki tunamiaka 9 na watoto wawili niliishi kwa shida wakati namjua alikuwa hana kitu saizi anapesa amegeuka kabisa ni vituko kila siku nakuta sms za wanawake kwenye simu kila siku. imenigusa sana. je nimplintie hii nimpe akasome au nifanyaje? hasa pale kuna sehemu alisema anacheki nguo zake zote zimekuwa kubwa amekonda nikaona kama ndio mimi. maisha mafupi tupendane ili hata ukifa unajua mwenzangu alinipenda.

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  22. Im a sucker for good story films (The Pursuit of Happiness, Jon Q, August Rush etc). I tried to stop myself but I kept seeing Denzel Washington or Terrence Howard playing a lead role na Jada Pinkett-Smith au Julia Roberts hivi, huku Gabrielle Union au Irene Uwoya akiwa kile kinyumba ndogo. Author of this story is a diamond mine-in-disguise, una talent sana and u know how to paint a picture and draw emotions out of words. Michuzi, thanks bro, one of the best story posts ever here... author, please dont sit on ya talent, use it. Bongo film industry needs writers like u...
    Michuzi big up bro, a good post, iwe fictious or real, sio ishu.
    I JUST REALISE HOW MUCH I LUV MY WIFE, MORE THAN BEFORE I READ THIS BEAUTIFUL CRAP!!!
    Kidumu Chama cha Libeneke...!

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  23. DON'T KNOW TILL IT'S GONE.

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