I am a Tanzanian living abroad. Never in one million years ever thought that I was gonna seek help solving matters related to love affairs, but here I am and in need of ideas of what to do. Well, here's the story.
I knew this girl about seven years ago. At that period we had no successful romantic relation though I told her how much in love I was. So we ended up just familiarity. Later I left Tanzania to come where I'm. In the beginning I had little contact with her by email, however we lost contact down the road. Now, recently I was talking to a mutual friend in Tanzania whom I asked her to reconnect me and the girl, which she did. I was given the girl's phone and we started to talk. From that period we have been talking regularly. I have clearly told her my intention which is to marry her But she has said that she got a boyfriend.I have asked of the seriousness of their relationship or whether they gonna get married ,she said she wasnt sure coz marriage is a process and not something done over night. Thing is, we have been talking alot on the phone and she never mention no boy friend,she has called me baby,darling and so on.
She is not a kinda girl you would call smart street,she's kinda mellow and someone you would trust on a click,she is beautiful,respectiful and on her late twenties. She still lives at parent's home. This girl has stuck in my head that I feel uneasy and unrest only till when I talk to her i gets relief and feel better. I'm ready at any cost possible to get hold of her. Now what shall I do?
Its me David
Sent from my iPhone
Sent from my iPhone
David,
ReplyDeleteGirls are looking for marrying men nowadays. If you mentioned marriage and she is still yabba dabba doing, something is fishy. Run away friend. The sooner the better. Besides, u hv not seen her for long.
Hi MY ADVICE TO YOU IT GOOD IF YOU COME BACK AND HAVE A PHYICAL TALK WITH HER YOU WILL NOTE A LOT OF THING THROUGH HER EYES AND TELL HER HOW SERIOUS YOU WANT TO MARRY HER. IF SHE AGREE YOU CAN START ALL NECESSARY PROCEDURES,ITS HARD FOR YOU DECIDE WHEN YOU THERE.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, I think you have a problem. This problem is called OBSESSION. This ia simply loving 'out of control' somebody who does not love you. Why out of control? Because like you say, you do not feel ok until you talk to her. Why doesnt she love you? Because she lost contact with you and she did not make any effort to re-connect to you. She just went ahead and hooked up with another guy. And also she does not love you because she told you on your face that she has got a boyfriend. Even though she is not sure that ths dude is gonna marry her, she is still courageous to turn you down. It is dangerous to force yourself into somebody who does not love you. Get her off your mind and life and start afresh looking for a sweet girl who will love you in truth.
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteIt seems like she is playing two sides. Dont waste too much time on this mess or you will get hurt badly.
As you have already been franc with her about the way you feel if she felt back you she would have not waste more time with the orther Jerk.
Move on BrotherMan see if she can catch you if not she dosent deserve you!
Mdau Regent.
David youre' so stupid and full of shit. Go find a Dr who deals with mental people and they will help you. Or you need to go to the crazy people house yourself. Youre' bunch shit.
ReplyDeleteDavid,never push someone into a relationship cuz sooner or later you will regret. She has a boyfriend now, you questioning her about where they stand is wrong,she may not be ready for marriage cuz as you said she is in her early twenties therefore,she has lots of things to look up to in terms of future,school,career wise and what so ever. My only advice to you is,be a friend and try not to be a lover, if she said no then dont push her into something that may end up breaking your friendship. If its meant to be then it will be,but until then just be there as a friend,as she said marriage comes natural not by pushing someone,and marriage is not something that you get up and wanting to do. Both of you focus on education and career goals,marriage later. All in all, kila la khery inshallah.
ReplyDeleteOoooh poor dave...don't you know the adage.."the faraway stick cant kill a snake?. Why bother with a faraway stick while you can have another girl more beautiful than her at the place where you are and you both come hom for finalisation of mariage process.Leave alone this damn girl who flabbergast you by darling melody, and babybaby tones while at the backside she has a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteLet her become your mutual friend only but not a hearty one as she lacked waitness...
Sasa wewe binti amekwambia kwamba ana boyfriend, wewe bado unamng'ang'ania tu!! Atakufanya uwe wazimu bure. Wewe unataka akuambie jina la boyfriend wake ili iweje? Achana naye. Kwanza kwa sasa akina dada wazuri ni wengi sana kama njugu. Kwa nini uhangaike na mtu ambaye hana interest na wewe? Kuitwa darling, sweetie, au baby ni njia ya kukuchuna pesa zako unazobebea mabox huko ulaya. Utatuma hela kwa western union mpaka utachoka lakini kama kuna jamaa anakula hiyo ngoma hutaweza kufanya lolote. Nakushauri achana naye na tafuta binti mwingiene!!
ReplyDeleteYou sound like some kinda loser
ReplyDeleteGo get a life!
And leave the poor girl ALONE
She has already decided by the way to maintain a relationship with his boyfriend so what are you waiting for? Look around for another pick. They are plenty.
ReplyDeleteKambetera Kamsopi
wake up my friend,seven years didnt see a girl or meet then from nowhere want to marry?and she already told you she has a boyfriend and still called you those nice names we use to hear especially on phone!.are you sure she is still the same you know before?in tme girls use to change a lot my friend,otherwise is up to you who gona deal with the matter latter after the marriage.goodlucky if you will be lucky.
ReplyDeleteDavid, it is hurting to love someone who doesnt love u. It is even more painful to waste time on hope that she will change while may be she won't. Assuming that at last she accepts your proposal, yet i find your marriage life to be of no confidence on your part as signs are clear that she doesnt love you. My advise, be a man. Let her go. Look for someone who will accept you naturally.
ReplyDeleteI will give you an advise next time, when you send your question from an internet cafe!!!
ReplyDeleteget a life babe......!
u see.., any body can call you names you wish to be called, doesnt mean they are fond of you!
When a woman don't want to get married to someone, it could be for many reasons:
ReplyDelete- She is not in love
- She in love with someone else
- She may be a "Changu Doa"
- She may have a secret that don't want to reveal which will jeopadise the marriage
- Whatever ....
NI WEWE DAVID TULISOMA WOTE MOROGORO??
ReplyDeleteTUNASKIA UPO ULAYA.HABARI ZA MIAKA ?
ACHANA NAE KWANI NI MIAKA MINGI IMEPITA WATANZANIA WA LEO SIO WALE WA JUZI...HUKU MAPINDUZI TU.
Aisee waswahili husema"fimbo ya mbali haiui nyoka" we beba boksi watu huku wanagonga tu!
ReplyDeleteDear David,
ReplyDeleteI do not believe any piece of shit in this damned story of yours. You seem you were born in remote area before you travelled abroad if it is true but ending up locked up as a house boy or similar job, otherwise you could not disclose the shit. Go to hell!!!!!
ooohh crying baby pumbavu mkubwa kwanza kabla huja tu uliza pumba you should have punch your head so hard majibu umeisha pata huyo dame ameisha kutosa ki aina sio kwamba upo njee udhani ni deal you need to see Dr Phil mmmmmtchhhhh
ReplyDeleteIf you have not been in this situation the whole world can not understand. My question is are you able to come home?. I used to be in a petty much a same situation actual is eifht years and i decide to forgo everything hata makaratasi ili nimpate nimpendaye and i have never regret. So if you belive this is for you come back home discuss issue and if you know is for you wait and plan how things going to work.But if your not in a position to make decision don't promise anything as vitu kama makaratasi hayajakaa sawa au $ hazijatimia za kufanya safari uchune usijue ukahahidi ikakuchukua miaka mitatu mingine utakuta mtoto sio wako ni hayo mdogo wangu najua kabisa kinachokukumba nilikuwa hapo nikashinda nami na mke wangu tunaishi maisha mazuri sana tena yakufurahisha
ReplyDeleteDavid said;I'm reading these comments and to my astonishment 99% says I should abondon my mission,well it's easy to say so but you guys don't understand,I pretty much know that there's bunch of woman out there,but understand the today world only a few you would trust. First off, the girl is on her late twenties and not early's. She works and don't need my damn money. I'm in my mid thirties. I have been with girls I don't even remember their names,that's mean alot. Now is time to get serious and this is where I wanna stop,one comment to count on said probably I should just try to byfriend her and then she might realize that I got love for her,at least u mdau has said something. I'm still gonna pursue my ambition. What I'm seeing is most likely she has no bf,she just wanna see how serious I'm, or she is weighing where to lean btn the 2 dudes.I think I'm gonna hang in there for a lit bit and see. You never know
ReplyDeleteThe fact that she calls you darling, sweetie, baby, etc doesn't mean she loves. Come on man! I be you live abroad where it is normal for a woman to call you in those names. Move on man
ReplyDeleteHey David,seven years is a lot to be apart. Think about your own life first,how many things have changed,from the way you think to the way you do things and how you make your decisions and life choices. The changes that you went through normally is the same changes that she went through affecting her choices and priorities in life.
ReplyDeleteAlmost every one of us living outside Tanzania,we had that sweet,loving beautiful girl that was so dearly and can't get our mind of,if we kept in touch the marriage dream is always the topic of conversation. Once you go back home and you get to meet that girl again,you will realize a lot have change and some of the things will really turn you off making you thing "what a f...k happened?" David before you break your tiny cotonele heart go see who you about to fight for and if she's worthy to be fighting for. Mine was not worthy it,she lies,got fat and kinda rude to people,that turned me off.If you think she's still down with you GET HER TESTED,under no circumstances do not deep it raw.
I'M out.
I wish to differ with the previous comments. I think something hasn't been understood. Dave didn't say that the lady doesn't love him, but bcoz so long time elapse without comm. this poor lady fall in love with another guy, something I don't find bad. Bcoz there was no comm btn them what should this lady do? I think, so long as the relationship has just been revitalized, I thought it was better for dave to buy time, to study the girl and proceed with the matter. It's true that there so many girls all over the world, but not all girls are "marriageable". people get married to partners they love!! My only worry is that, is she the same girl Dave used to love before such long time has elapsed. People do change morphologically over time. Otherwise, I stand to shoulder this move to give the heart what it wishes!!
ReplyDeleteShe is not for you. Find someone who will feel the same about you. Even if you two get married you will be the one working hard to keep the relationship going on for the rest of your life. And I don't think this is worthy.
ReplyDeleteKwanini msiongee Kiswahili tukaelewana humu ndani badala yake mnahangaika na kimombo cha kuchapia?????!!!!!! Au ndio kuthibitisha kwamba mko nje ya nchi???? acheni ujinga!!!
ReplyDeleteDavid, you are a stalker!!
ReplyDeleteMwanamke kasha kwambia kuwa ana mtu, wewe bado unamfuata tu, unataka akujibu nini na ukiwa nje ya nchi? Ni wazi kuwa hataki kukukasirisha kwa kuwa ameshakuona mgonjwa wa akili na akiendelea kukukataa utamletea madhara, hivyo anatafuta njia ya kujiepusha na hizo stress zako.
I love you baby!! See, I can say it too but, I do not even mean it.
Watu wamekushauri uachane naye wewe bado unang'ang'ana tu, eti hawakuelewi.
Kwa ufupi ni kuwa watu wamekuelewa na maundua kuwa wewe ni mgonjwa wa akili, wanajaribu kukutibu, lakini wewe bado ni mbishi kwa kuwa huwezi kubali kuwa wewe ni stalker.
Achana na huyo mwanamke, unampenda hivyo yeye nani? Na je ukimuoa na mambo yasiwe ukaja mkuta na njemba nyingine kwenye kitanda chako itakuwaje? Si ndiyo utawachinja kwa hasira? Halafu tena utataka tukuelewe?
Acha usenge huo, tafuta mwanamke anayekupenda yeye ndo umuoe.
Dve my bro, I hope I am not late to give you my advice, people will say 7yrs is a long time, other people will say move on with you life, let me tell you that 7 yrs is a long time for people who can't live without having it, but for someone who can live and be patient wiholding it 7 yrs is chamtoto, you have to do it where you feel comfortable and not because you feel like doing it. So, follow your heart and go home meet the girl, test for HIV, result good go for her, because LOVE is BLIND and TRUE LOVE comes once. The rest will be justfaction.
ReplyDeleteSikiliza bwana Dave me nimeshikwa na wivu sio siri kwa sababu msichana unaemuongelea ndie ambae natarajia kufunga nae ndoa umesema unawasiliana nae bado aisee basi wote tunampenda kiukweli lakini wewe ulishaharibu na bado umeharibu soma comment yako hapo juu how many pretty ladies u bedded huh! kwa nini unataka kumuharibu na huyu eh? Tafadhari nakuomba usifanye unachotaka kufanya cuz the end z gonna b bad and neither of us gon like it,. my advice is get a life and move on wit the life u were living after u lost contact with her.. Tafadhari niachie N wangu m not wrong. Peace
ReplyDeletepatamu hapa,wapiga box leo naona wanachezea uwanja wa nyumbani "FULL KUPIGA UNG`ENGÈ" mwanzo mwisho,ngoja tuendelee kupata tuition ya bure hapa..
ReplyDeleteKwani Dave kukaa huko ulaya miaka yote hiyo hujapata demu? achana na hicho kimeo ndugu yangu, wanawake wa Daslaam siku hizi wajanja sana. Wewe rudi na hela zako za box, utapata tu mwanamke jiji hili.
ReplyDeletePole, naona umezama penzini Ki**nge.
hiii ndiyo tabu yenu nyie muishio huko abroad, hapa mwanamke akikwambia darling, baby baby haimaanishi kama anakupenda. Maana yake ni kwamba kaa sawa nahitaji hizo dollar zako, wajinga ndiyo waliwao, kuna wasanii huku, huyo akuingiza kiaina kwenye king yake ukifika tuu umekwisha wewe na huyo so called boyfriend. AAMKA WEWE ' NO MEANS NO' MTAJIFUNZA LINI NYIE WATU? , AU UNATAKA UJE ULETE LAWAMA TENA HAPA KAMA AMEKUFANYISHIA? OHH SHAURI YENU MTAKUJA LIWA HIVYO VIDOLLAR VYENU VYA BOX HAPA THEN ATAKUWA ANAKUPITA KAMA HAKUJUI WAKATI UMEISHIA, TUNAKABA MPAKA KONA HUKU, WE JILETE TUU
ReplyDeleteAisee huyo jamaa aliyepost comment tar 9 saa 4.34 kwa kweli nimefurahishwa na maneno yake. Nadhani ni Mkurya. Kwa kweli Dave fuata ushauri wake. Kuna dada mrembo kama unataka nikuunganishie, yeye hapendi kuchuna, ila itabidi unilinde na mimi.
ReplyDeleteDAVID SAID;WOW,THIS DISCUSSION HAS BEEN INTENSE,I WISH THE GIRL COULD READ ALL THIS,BUH SHE'S NOT A FUN OF BLOGGING.ANYWAYS,I'M GETTING SOME TANGIBLE ADVICES GOING THRU ALL OF THE COMMENTS.SOME DUDES ARE JUST FIERCE ONLY TO KNOW THAT I LIVE ABROAD.I DONT THINK THAT LOVE GOT BOARDERS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BUT THE IMPORTANT THING HERE IS MOST OF TIME WOMEN LEARNS TO LOVE GUYS,IT COULD BE DIFFICULT FOR A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE IN THE BEGINNING BUT THEY NORMALLY COME TO FALL VERY BAD IN LATER DAYS.SO...KEEP COMMENTING BUT DONT CURSE COZ WHOEVER CURSES SHOWS HOW LOW THEY ARE,ITS ONLY IDEAS ASKED AND I DONT SEE A REASON WHY ONE WOULD CURSE,BE CIVILIZED
ReplyDeleteDavid, I suggest you read all the comments - in one way or another based on the information you gave us - just move on.
ReplyDeleteShe already knows what she wants, you are a link between her "old comfort zone" and her current comfort zone. You are her past, she already has her future.
There is someone out there just waiting for you - close this one door and open the other doors of opportunity.
Imagine - many of the people do not know you and they have given you the utmost truth. Pursuing this lady is going to hurt you down the road!
Some of us pray you will open your eyes and listen to advise that is consistently saying NO move on.
Wake up and see the truth staring you in the eye!!
David hapo Tue Nov 09, 04:06:00 PM;
ReplyDeleteHivi kuna sababu gani kuomba ushauri ambao huwezi kuufuata? Yaani ni kwa nini utuulize swali ambalo jibu unalo tayari? Wewe ulishaamua kumng'ang'ania huyo binti sasa ni kwa nini utuulize na ututake ushauri?
Hii ni sawa na kutangaza nafasi ya kazi wakati mtu kaisha ajiriwa. Yaani, ninanza kuamini hao watu wanaodai kuwa una matatizo ya akili kidogo. Hivi umesema 99% wamekushauri kuwa uachane na huyo mwanamke, sasa iweje wewe ung'ang'ane kumfuata tu na kutoamini kuwa anamtu? Hivi kikwete kashinda kwa asilimia 61.17% vile? Hii inamaanisha kuwa 99% ni kubwa kuliko ya Kikwete na tumekubali kuwa Kikwete awe rais wetu, sasa wewe unaona hao 99% ni wapuuzi isipokuwa uwatii 1% including wewe?
Man, grow up, kama mtu mmoja hapo juu alivyosema, tafuta mwanamke atakaye kupenda wewe ndo umuoe. Usioe mwanamke unayempenda wewe tena kijinga hivyo, utaumia maisha yako yote na ndiyo mwanzo wa matatizo mengine makubwa zaidi.
eti "sent from my iphone", limbukeni huyu achaneni naye.
ReplyDeleteSASA MTU ANAKUOMBA MSAADA UNASEMA NI LIMBUKENI JAMANI WATU WENGINE!HATERS!GET A LIFE! KAMA HAMNA CHA KUMSAIDIA SI MNYAMAZE?
ReplyDeleteEti ana kazi yake nzuri hahitaji pesa zangu!! Kuna binadamu anaridhika na pesa wewe? Hebu muulize mzee wa Vijisenti, Chenge atakwambia
ReplyDeleteBased on your comment, last one big advice "people don't change"
ReplyDeleteKaka Pole!
ReplyDeleteNimekubali wabongo kwa malove watacomment tu. They like chicks.
Kaka Akili ni Nywele na kila mtu ana zake, Lakini pia ukiambiwa kitu changanya na akili yako kisha amua.
Nadhani una matatizo na kwa vile uko Ulaya, nenda kwa wataalamu wakushauri ili ufanye maamuzi sahihi.
Kwa haraka haraka unapoteza mda wako, na tudollar twako tutaisha bure, na anaweza akakupa tu ngono na akawa anakuaidi kumuacha ili ukata pesa lakini kuoana hamna hilo.
Ila la kuambiwa changanya na akili yako amua. Niliwai kuwa na matatizo karibia na hilo ila nilichunwa mpaka basi na baadae nikabwangwa.
David I know ur name and where you live, so stop this bull shit or I will put you address up and people will really, really, know your full name.
ReplyDeleteGo to old people house if not crazy people home. Thats were you belong.
Unajua Dav unatutega,ushasema unampenda sana na huyo mdada ni kila kitu kwako, sasa sie tukikushauri ushauri ambao unapingana na msimamo wako hutatuelewa....lakini kumbuka maisha ya ndoa ni tofauti na ya uboy na ugirl friend.....kwenye ndoa uzuri wa sura hautakusaidia, wapo walioukimbilia uzuri hou bila kuweka msisitizo kwenye mambo mengine muhimu leo wanajuta kwani kumbe walioa nyoka na nyumba zao badala ya kuwa paradiso imekuwa police post(mifano hai tunayo). La muhimu kaa na huyo mdada mpime kwa mambo mengi zaidi, pima pia uaminifu wake....... from there utakuwa n a good position to decide.
ReplyDeleteI guess i know you dave, infact your real name is not dave. this is just a name you have coined to cover your real identity.and you are not living in Europe but i USA. the girl you are talking about lives outside dar. if this is true, then i know you and the girl. then my advice is go back home, give ur self some time to asses the gals attitude, the if you are still satisfied by all means MARRY her.
ReplyDelete