By Peoplepower
Many people say that to have a happy marriage you need to work at it, doing things to keep the spark alive. The good news is that you can enjoy a wonderful, fulfilled marriage simply by working as a set.
Invest on your existing relationship to avoid unwanted frustrations. Down to 10th-14th week February week sees faith leaders, politicians and celebrates, retailers, shops etc. lending their shore up in reminding couples to love, cherish and honour each other through giving red roses, chocolate hearts and sending valentine cards to the one we adore.
Valentine week in my view can be a week to help couples to talk about their marriages for those who are married, to talk about friendship for those who are not married, and a week to build positive skills in the relationships. Michuzi’s readers, here are some tips for a stress-free marriage or relationships as we enter into the so called“siku ya wapendanao14 February”.
Rule One, have a high standard on your relationship
Happy couples have high standard for each other. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behaviour from one another. Remember, the lover the level of patience for bad behaviour in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple are down the road.
Rule Two, Edit what you say to your partner
Quite often, couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy issues and topics such as family finance matters or general family development issues are consistently the happiest.
Rule Three, Avoid confrontation
Arguments usually first start up because a spouse has made a critical remark in a confrontational tone. To avoid this try and soften the way you approach your partner’s point of view.
Rule Four, Ignore the small stuff
Every marriage or relationship faces challenges, some big and some small. Remind yourself that life is prized and short. Therefore, focus on the large battles, work thorough them as a team while letting go of the incidentals that in the big scheme of things do not matter.
Rule Five, Set time for friends
Experience tells me that this is crucial. Once every other week, you should both take one day or evening to spend time apart and with same-sex friends. This will help you maintain your own identity and appreciate the time you have with your spouse or friend.
Rule Six, Focus on the bright side
In a happy marriage or friendship, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as opposed to negative ones. A good marriage or relationship needs to be in a rich climate of positively.
Rule Seven, Keep dating
Just because you are now legally married or in relationship for long-time, doesn’t mean you need to stop dating each other. Choose a day convenient for you. Every Friday or Saturday night, even if you have children, make a date. This could be something as a simple as a romantic outing and general walking. The activity is not important, just that you get time for just the two of you.
If you follow these rules at least there will be no “nyumba ndogo” and existing relationships will grow strong everyday.
Email:people@hotmail.co.uk
Unatuletea mambo ya kizungu hapa! Sisi waswahili hatuhitaji vitu 'formal'.
ReplyDeletemama ana shoga zake mtaani wanaonana kila siku kusogoa iwe uwani au bombani au ktk sambuasambua.
baba yeye barazani na wenzie wakipata gahawa au gumzo.
Waswahili hatuhitaji special day maana jirani au mgeni haalikwi anazuka tu.
Ndo maana tulio ughaibuni kama Ukerewe ndio paundi zipo lakini hakuna jirani /shoga / ami wa kuzuka bila taarifa, yaani mambo ya Ulaya tuwaachie wenyewe, sie tuendelee na informal zetu tupate hapiness na kuwa stress free.
TUONDLOLEE MAMBO YAKO HAPA YAPO TOFAUTI SANA HUKU KWETU MUSOMA BILA KUM FRUSTRATE MKE WANGU ATAHISI SIMPENDI
ReplyDeleteAnon wa kwanza.
ReplyDeleteCome out of the box and enjoy life.
KWANZA WEWE INABIDI CBA WAKUSHTAKI UMEIGA SLOGAN YAO YA STRESS FREE
ReplyDeleteWanaume wa bongo vipi? ndo maana hamuendelei!...
ReplyDeleteUshamba umewajaa mpaka sehemu za nguoni. That's why you don't even know romance, mnaparamia tu.
Mwanamke shurti umbembeleze na abembelezeke. Be nice to her and kind and open and she'll be the same to you. Lakini mijanaume ya kibongo ndo kwaaaanza wanalala tu hapo wafanyiwe kila kitu, instead of vise versa. Aibu zenu!
Learn this things, msitie aibu mkioa nje ya nchi. Mpanue mawazo, akili, mikono na miguu(yea! everything, to be more open)
Halafu mpunguze matumbo, si afya. That's why you can't function well.(msonyo!)
Hla
@ Kui
ReplyDeletekwahiyo unasema wenye vitambi muziki hawauchezi vizuri? sasa, mbona vibinti vya Bongo vinamegwa na wenye vitambi?
Wabongo, mazoezi muhimu; sio kuangalia tu kabumbu tu, inabidi na wewe uvae bukta mara moja la sivyo damu itakuwa haifiki sehemu kunako.
Mkandamizaji.
KIU we kungwi bwana. wape khabar zao hao wakina watendewe wao, wakitenda wenzao viwemo mwao. baambie baeleezee, toa vidonge kiu yako iishe. ha ha ha ha haaaaaa
ReplyDeleteUkweli ni kwamba kitambi ni karaha kweli mfanye tizi wabongo mmezidi bia na nyama choma bila ya tizi hata hizo ngono zitawashindwa halafu mnaona mademu ndio hawawafai kumbe nyie wenyewe ndio mnazolotesha dili na msipochange mtaibiwa sana mtaani na wajanja. Kanza ukizingatia hata mapenzi ya kubembeleza mwanamke kweli hamna na hamjui inabidi wengi wengi muende kufundwa tuu.Wengine unawakuta vijana wadogo lakini mitambi utasema wajawazito wa miezi saba jamani hakuna gym huku nyingi basi hata anzisheni vilabu vya futbali mfanye mazoezi. Na acheni ubishi mkiambiwa mtu kawatolea article hata hamumjui mmeanza kuosha vinywa wakati amawasaidia. People mimi demu wa mtu lakini kama uko single na ni mwanaume please nitakuemail personal kama hapo juu tuwasiliane kwa further advise na mengine sijui uko wapi umenifurahisha at least unajua valentine ni nini . Change time hizi kama alitoa mfano cousin Obama na nyie wanaume wetu wa kibongo mlio wengi inabidi mbadilike kwa kweli.
ReplyDeletekhaaa wee unaemkandia @Kui
ReplyDeletesasa tukueleweje,,,yan ni ukweli mtupu vitambi huwezi libeneke ata chembe,,,ao vibinti wanaomegwa na wenye vitambi ni kwa sababu moja tu "living life" mipesa na utajiri wa haraka basiiiii,no raha wala kileleni.
anyway hakuna darasa wala mkufunzi wa mapenzi msituletee uzungu apa
@anon 11:59
ReplyDeleteWasichana wa kibongo, just because they don't have that much choices, to say the truth. Do research, and find out how excess weight affects our whole being. wanaume wa kibongo know the game but, they can't play it that good because they're too heavy. We kama una weigh 100kgs na tumbo lako peke yake ni 150kgs, niambie kama utaweza kumkatikia mwenzako. Ndo mnaishia kusema ni kazi ya mwanamke kutoa penzi, it works BOTH WAYS!, acheni uvivu. From romance to the full game. Hata mchezo wenyewe unanoga na kulast for a long time, kama umeanza kufanya mazoezi(romance) kwanza.
I need to be put in the mood first before the game, lakini nyie mnaparamia tu, MNATUUMIZA!
Men love all shapes and sizes
ReplyDeleteBy Elsa K. Simcik
Ladies, it's time to stop cursing your jiggly bum. And while you're at it, no more whining about your thunder thighs or colossal calves. And those hips you think would fit better on a birthing cow? Learn to love 'em. Because the truth is, what you consider a flaw may be some guy's favourite feature. Really. There are guys out there who prefer a flat chest to a couple of D-cups, A pot belly to a set of toned abs and a shapely derriere to a tiny tush.
Next time you're looking at a magazine ad and then make the mistake of examining your reflection in the mirror, remember this: You've got your mind fixated on this ideal look. But in reality, the body type you see in ads is possessed naturally by less than 5% of females according to a study done by the Social Issues Research Centre. That's a tough goal. Let's get realistic. You're not in that 5%. But the good news is, none of your friends, co-workers or family members probably are either. So why measure yourself against Claudia Schiffer when your real standard should be your friend Cassie with the wide hips or Aunt Sally with the love handles?
Still not convinced? Check out these body types and the men that worship them:
1. Juice in the caboose. Let's all give a round of applause to J. Lo for bringing back the bum. Yes, girls have had large rears since the invention of chocolate, but they always hid them in shame. They even experimented with clever fashion tricks to cover them up — ever tried the discreet jumper around the waist? Not necessary anymore. Jenny from the block changed everything when she not only let her arse make an appearance — she let it steal the show. Wesley, 24, has got it bad for the bigger behind, "I don't care if a girl's got a flat chest or a big chest, but if she doesn't have a nice round bum, I'm not interested." The guys that go for junk in the trunk are typically good dancers. So shake it like, J. Lo on the dance floor and they'll come crawling. Just get used to making introductions from behind. ..
2. Stacked like a library. Okay, it's pretty hard to go wrong when you're well-endowed on top. Many have speculated on men's fascination with breasts and few have come up with a logical explanation. Jason, 26, takes a stab at this classic dilemma, "Men love cool, multi-purpose gadgets, and breasts may be the best gadget of all ... they provide nourishment for the young, a place to rest a head for the pillow-less, and a hand-hold for the ... people who are neither young, nor sleepy." So what type of man is most drawn to these wiggly wonders? All men. And that's the plight of the D-cup: You never know if he likes you or the twins. The A-cups think that's a fair trade.
3. Petite power. The tiny girls who still get asked for ID for 15 rated films really have the pick of the litter. With no height constrictions, they can date guys from 5'5 to 6'5. I'm talking about girls who long to hear their men describe them as "gorgeous" and "sexy" but have to settle for "adorable" and "cute." Who are the men flattering these miniature maidens? They are guys with a thing for much younger girls. They love it that their women are pint-sized and that their feet don't touch the ground when they sit in chairs. It's okay if your man wants to keep you young at heart. But if he asks you to put on a Catholic school girl uniform, run away. Fast.
4. Skeletal supermodels. The tall, thin and gorgeous girls often complain that they can't get a date. Maybe men are intimidated. And why shouldn't they be? The supermodel is the highest level on the dating barometer. Think about it. People always measure against the supermodel: "He can get any girl he wants — even a supermodel," or "Well, she's pretty, but it's not like she's a supermodel," are just a couple of common rumblings. Or maybe supermodels go dateless because men don't know what to suggest for a date. I mean, these girls obviously don't go out to eat. But don't worry; the supermodels of the world will never be lonely. They have an ample supply of rock stars and rich men who love to show them off.
5. Va-va-va-voluptuous. Do you have it all? Big boobs, big hips and a big bum to boot? No need to hide those curves under a baggy t-shirt — flaunt your hourglass figure. "I like a girl with some substance," says Luke, 31, "I don't like to worry that I'm breaking a girl when I hug her." Don't worry, Luke. Voluptuous girls are unbreakable — they're natural women. We salute the Lukes of the world for keeping it real. Seriously. Women's bodies have to go through excruciating events like child birth and post-break-up pizza binges – which are both, interestingly enough, caused by men!
6. Buff and tough. Athletic girls may have tight butts and a six pack but like our friends, the supermodels, they can sometimes intimidate guys. How can a guy date a girl who could potentially kick his ass? Or worse, beat him in a fierce game of thumb war? "I dated this girl who did triathlons," confesses Mark, 26, "I'd try to train with her but I couldn't even keep up. I always felt pathetic around her."
If you're still thinking, "There's no way someone could ever love my squishy tummy," then that's because you don't love it. If you carry yourself as if you're the sexiest women in the room, men will notice. So love your big bum. Love your flat chest. Love your thunder thighs. Then he'll love them. And while you're doing all this lovin', learn to love his pot belly too.
khaaaa wee annon ulotubandikia lihabari reeeefu umu ndo nini?uo ni ujinga na mambo ya ao wazungu wenu yanatuhusu nini?
ReplyDeleteeti mpende vitambi!!uzembe mtupu na uroho uliokithiri
Mimi nakushukuru kwa hili maana tumetoka kumwagiana mineno ya shombo asubuhi hii na nina kizawadi changu cha Valentine kabati cool will IGNORE THE SMALL STUFF!!
ReplyDeleteKiu umenikata kiu. Dah!
ReplyDeletePunguza jazba Kiu, usituandame 'sie' wenye vitambi tu bali pia wachafu na walevi bwana... Kumbuka pia sio wanaume (wa bongo) tu bali hata WANAWAKE WAPUNGUZE VITAMBI. Au vya wanawake huwa havina tatizo ndugu...
ReplyDelete